If you’re the average consumer (not that there’s anything average about you), your food has probably traveled a lot more than you have. That’s because fully 95% of the fruit and 50% of the vegetables consumed in the UK are imported. If the food you eat was sourced from within 20km of where you live, the country would save £2.1 billion in environmental and congestion costs. Not only would the grub be fresher and cheaper, it’d probably share your accent.

Why not grow your own veggies? It’s easy, fun, they look great, and you can eat the results. Word in the garden is, Fruit and vegetables are the new flowers. In fact, for the first time in decades vegetable seeds are outselling flower seeds 70 to 30. Veggies rule!

Okay, time to put your gloves on and get started.

1. Think small. Don’t try to plant the Vegetable Gardens of Babylon. A small garden requires less work and is easier to maintain. If your garden is too big you’ll just have to start hiring farm hands, and that gets into forms and taxes. All you want is some asparagus.
2. Where comes the sun? Preferably you’ll want your veggie garden on the south side of your property to maximize sun exposure. Like a lot of people, veggies prefer a minimum of six hours of direct sunlight. (Is there a south side to your property?)
3. The need to weed. Try to find an area in your garden not already infested with weeds. If you can’t be with one without weeds, then weed the one you’re with.
4. No rain, no strain. Place your garden plot near a water source so you don’t have to haul a watering can far if there’s little rain. A hose would help.
5. The drain on the plain. Your vegetable garden needs good drainage, which depends on slope, but too much slope loses too much water. So if you live on a hill, "terrace" your garden to capture water just like they do in countries like Nepal (where everyone lives on a slope).
6. Check up on the Joneses. See what's surrounding your proposed spot. The roots of nearby trees and shrubs can soak up water and nutrients that you want for your veggies. A two-foot trench around the garden can ensure that won't happen.
7. What to plant? You should choose your crops based on the type of soil you have and your local climate. Check locally to see what works in your area.
8. Need an allotment? If you don’t have a garden (you live in flat? on a boat?), you could get an allotment, wither alone or with friends. Allotments-UK has all the details about where to find an allotment site. You may have to go on a waiting list, as these babies are getting popular. But check it out at www.allotments-uk.com/.
9. Container your enthusiasm. Even if you don’t have any space for a veggie garden, or can’t get an allotment, why not try container gardening? All you need are some plastic containers, some soil, seeds, and a bit of love (plus water and sunlight). For more info on this Lilliputian approach to farming, go to www.gardenguides.com/how-to/tipstechniques/containerindoor/container2.as...

For more general tips on planning your veggie garden, an excellent site is the Royal Horticultural Society at www.rhs.org.uk/vegetables/

And the BBC gardening site (where Jonathan Ross gets all his weally wonderful weggie tips) is worth checking out as well. www.bbc.co.uk/gardening/basics/techniques/growfruitandveg_index.shtml

Good luck with your green fingers! (And please save us some courgettes.)

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